Rethinking marriage: making decisions together

[Okay, deep breath, here we go.] In my first post in this series I said that I've been doing some thinking about the roles of men and women in marriage. I plan to break this up into a series of posts to layout where I both agree and disagree with what I understand to be complimentarianism.

In the last post I dealt with the actual roles of the husband and wife. If you haven't read that, go there first. That post lays the groundwork for what I am writing today. In this post I'm dealing with how those roles are applied concerning authority in marriage.

As we saw in the previous post, the husband is head of the wife and the wife is to submit to the husband. Does that mean that he is the boss and she must do whatever he says? Does that mean that he makes all the decisions and she must go along with him even if she disagrees? Many who are complimentarians think so but I think not.

Here's why. When talking about authority between men and women many are quick to point out passages like Ephesians 5 about roles, 1 Tim 2:11-15 about teaching and 1 Cor 11 about head coverings but seldom bring 1 Cor 7 into the equation. Lets look at that passage.

1 Cor 7:3-5 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Now there are those that believe that this passage deals only with what happens in the bedroom. I don't think so. If this is Paul's instruction regarding authority over one another during physical intimacy then the implications of this verse are astounding in my opinion. After all, the physical union between a man and woman is the fleshing out of them coming together spiritually. Physical intimacy is the apex of our togetherness. It is the consummation of the sworn union of a husband and wife. It is of the highest importance in a relationship.

If we should only separate physically from one another when we are in agreement why should wives be expected to follow orders or give their husbands a blank check to make decisions? Are those decisions more important than their sexual relationship and therefore above the necessity for agreement? The answer is an emphatic NO!

It is very true to say that any man who makes decisions without coming to some agreement with his spouse is in serious error. To do so drives in the lane of disunity between partners and casts off a very important member of the decision making body. The result is either a disgruntled and violated wife or a silenced voice from a woman who must shut herself down in order to be obedient.

The words of Derek Webb come to mind:

Like style made by slaves.
Like bribes to throw the race.
Like women who know their place.

Like security for Libery you gotta admit it,
it was never quite worth what you gave up to get it. 

So what say you, can we walk in our God given roles as husband and wife and still strive to come to agreements in decision making without violating those roles? Should we? Is it important to consider 1 Cor 7 in decision making?  What are more pro's and con's of both sides?