desperate persistence

Mr. Grumble has left the building.

Everyday I find myself tempted to grumble to God for calling me out of Egypt and into the wilderness. If you have been reading my blog you probably know by now that I use Egypt as a symbol of organized religion.

Having faith that God will bring me through to complete my journey is my only refuge and hope.  I miss having regular fellowship with my brothers and sisters that are still in the institutional church.  I love and miss them all very much. Knowing that the only real fellowship we can have is in Christ; that is my most comforting thought.  All is not lost, relationships built are not wasted.  I haven't left the people in my heart and spirit but I could no longer remain present with them in the services and programs.

Jesus may be known in the institution and in the wilderness but he is experienced in his fullness in the promised land. We are still united in Christ (at least in thought) but I want it to be more real.  No polite cordiality, no programs to hide behind, no paid professionals expected to do all the work, no systems to maintain and be devoted to to.  Just Christ in us, that is what I want to be a part of.  Christ is all and in all.  He is the beginning and the end.  The firstborn from the dead.  He learned obedience through what he suffered.  Oh! how I want to know him more!  To know more fully what it means to be IN him and have him IN me and to be a part of a gathering that is devoted to putting all our energies into building one another up IN Christ.

I want him in his fullness, I'm done with good enough.  God help me not to grumble or to turn back.